


no greater gift is there than love

by campbellswolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Advent 2018, Christmas, Decorating the Tree, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Grieving, Ice Skating, Karaoke, They lived happily ever after, and bernie just wants to be near her, bernie can't wrap presents, christmas markets, first christmases, jac is a catalyst, lots of kisses, proposal, serena has an operation, shiraz the puppy, sleepy bernie, snogging on the sofa, they are just a couple of snuggle bugs, tropey ‘only one bed’ shiz, ugly christmas jumpers, wee bit of angst but always a happy ending, wee bit of the old friends to lovers trope, young!bernie, young!serena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 15,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campbellswolfe/pseuds/campbellswolfe
Summary: Wee drabbles for the 2018 Berena Advent event.





	1. gift wrapping

Serena looked at her wife over the kitchen table, not believing what she had just heard her say. “Bernie, you mean to tell me that you haven’t ever wrapped a Christmas present?”

“I’ve never wrapped any presents,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve always had the people in shops wrap them for me or I just throw it all in a gift bag."

Bernie tried to fold one side of the wrapping paper but it ripped right across one of the little reindeer faces.

"Bloody hell."

“Have a little bit of patience, Bernie. I know you find that a challenge.”

“Very funny.” She had one side folded over the box, then turned it to the other side but the side she had previously folded had fallen back down. 

“Fold it up and tape it to the box, then do the same with the other side, and make sure to pull tight,” Serena said, unable to stop herself chuckling and shaking her head. 

Bernie looked to Serena with a pouty face. “Stop laughing. I don’t see why we have to do this.”

“It’s tradition, darling.”

“It isn't my tradition.”

“It’s our tradition. Well, it will be after today.”

Bernie got the two sides folded around the box and taped them down and then turned her attention to the ends. “How am I supposed to do this?”

“Fold the short sides and then crease them to look like little triangles with flat tops.”

Serena showed her the present she was working on, demonstrating the folding and creasing, then cutting the excess off the tops of the triangles. “See, now these will overlap and you can take one over the other.”

"I need more tape, Serena."

"I just gave you a new roll ten minutes ago."

"Yes, but look," Bernie picked at the edge of the table, trying and failing to tug at the tape from the wooden surface. "They got stuck again."

Bernie tried to emulate what Serena had just done, folding the sides and creasing them. She cut the excess but cut it too close, so when she tried to fold the sides, not only did they not overlap, they didn’t even meet, leaving a large patch of the box on show. 

“Ugh! You bloody wrap them.” She scowled at the happy reindeer faces mocking her as she thrusted the box Serena’s way. 

“No. You are helping me. She is your great-niece too. And keep your voice down or you’ll wake the little madam up.”

“She isn’t even two years old yet. She isn’t going to know who wrapped what. I don’t even think she will care if they are wrapped or not.”

“Guinevere was too young last year to open her own presents. This year she isn’t.” Serena pointed to the half-wrapped gift. “Get wrapping, Berenice.”

Bernie stuck her tongue out at Serena but took the box back, sighing before attempting to battle the wrapping paper again. She ripped off the paper and started over, cutting far more than necessary from the roll. Serena bit back a comment about her wasting paper. She took her time, meticulously folding, creasing and taping until she had one package wrapped. 

"Looks fab," Serena commented, handing her a length of bright red ribbon. "Now do you want to learn how to make a pretty bow?"

Bernie glared at her. "You're pushing it, Campbell."

Serena laughed. "Okay, fine, I'll be in charge of the bows. We only have a couple more to do anyway. We can start a little assembly line. You wrap, I'll decorate."

"Deal," Bernie said, leaning over and kissing her cheek. Her lips then met Serena's and she gave her a heated, lingering kiss, one that never failed to make her heart soar.

She pulled back from Serena, her willpower waning but still intact, wanting nothing more than to toss the wrapping paper to the other side of the room and carry on where they left off. That can wait until later. 

Serena noticed Bernie's furrowed brow and stroked her cheek. "Wrap, Bernie, then we can play."

Bernie eagerly grabbed the next gift and set to work once more, handling the wrapping paper like a pro this time around.


	2. family

Guinevere is cast as Mary in her school’s annual rendition of The Nativity. 

Both Jason and Greta are delighted, praise her to no end and let their daughter know how proud they are of her. They help her write out a little invitation to the two other most important people in her life. 

_‘Auntie Serena and Auntie Bernie,_

__

Please will you come to my school play and see me be Mary?

__

_Love you both  
Guinevere xxxxxxxx’_

The writing was squiggly and the bottom of the paper was covered in kisses and different sized hearts and Guinevere couldn’t wait to give it to them, and to share her good news. 

—

The curtains parted, revealing the children already arranged on the stage. They were mostly sitting or standing in their places, fidgety in the way that most six-year-olds tended to be fidgety, when asked to stand or sit still for a period longer than two seconds. 

Guinevere was stood with her head tilted to look down at the floor and was fiddling with the little knot keeping her robe together. She spent all week rehearsing her lines, Serena and Bernie playing the other characters and encouraging her when she got mixed up with any words. The Guinevere now was not the Guinevere they had seen at home just last night. 

Bernie coughed. It seemed to break Guinevere from her daydream as she locked eyes with her aunties sitting in the fourth row, both giving her the thumbs up and big, beaming smiles. That was all she needed. She began. 

—

By the end of the play, Bernie’s light layer of mascara had run down the sides of her face. Jason turned to her with a questioning look. 

“Are you crying, Auntie Bernie?”

Bernie swiped furiously at her eyes, cleared the lump from her throat and gave a dry laugh as she patted Jason’s arm in reassurance.

The curtains fell down and the audience stood up to cheer and applaud. Bernie stayed seated, kept Serena down with her, not wanting this private moment interrupted.

She turned to Serena with shining eyes, linked their fingers together and pressed a feather-light kiss to her cheek. 

“I love your family.”

Serena shook her head. “Our family.”

Bernie cried again. 

—

She cried when Guinevere ran over to her first to squeeze round her legs.

She cried as she hoisted Guinevere up into her arms between herself and Serena, as they both peppered her little face with sloppery kisses and told her how fantastic she was. 

They both cried as Guinevere whispered she loved them both into the space between them.


	3. carol singing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when catherine ruined everyone’s headcanon by saying that serena couldn’t hold a tune or cook? well, i’ve decided to stick to my headcanon and write that she can in fact do BOTH. 
> 
> also, if ya wanna hear her singing:  
> [click here.](https://twitter.com/catherinerusse2/status/1058339805417873409?s=21)

_“Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

_Let your heart be light_

_From now on our troubles will be out of sight...”_

-

A dreamy, melodious voice drew Bernie out of the bedroom early one morning, eyes bleary as she padded towards the kitchen to find the source of the singing. 

She found Serena in front of the cooker in nothing but an oversized shirt and fluffy socks riding up just past her ankle. She was singing quietly to herself whilst scrambling eggs. Serena jolted when Bernie wrapped her arms around her from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Morning, love,” Serena smiled and started tipping out the now finished eggs onto plates. “How did you sleep last night?” Serena asked with a knowing twitch of her lips. 

“Very well.” Bernie smiled against Serena’s neck. 

“You have a beautiful voice.” Even though Serena’s back was to her, Bernie could feel the blood rush to her cheeks.

“It’s really nothing special. Especially compared to some of the real singers out there now.” 

Serena yelped as Bernie pinched her bum. “Hey! What was that for?”

“I’ve decided that every time you put yourself down, I’m going to pinch you.” Bernie smirked. 

“Maybe then you won’t do it so often.” Serena softened and pulled Bernie towards her. She leaned down and pecked her on the lips.

“I love you.” Serena breathed against Bernie’s mouth, but Bernie had already swallowed her words with another kiss.

“I love you too, Serena.” 

Bernie rubbed her nose against Serena’s. “Maybe you could teach me the song you were singing. It was lovely.” She suggested and felt Serena’s lips curve up against her own.

“Oh, I can teach you a lot more than that, Bernie.” 

Serena punctuated every second word with a kiss to Bernie’s neck. Bernie ran her fingers through Serena’s short hair and pulled back to lock eyes with her. Brown eyes sparkled with mirth as they met another pair of brown eyes, almost swallowed by blown pupils.

“Then perhaps we should go back to our room so that you can show me.” Bernie said, whilst turning off the cooker before she led Serena by the hand back to their bedroom. They met a sleepy Jason walking down the hallway, who rolled his eyes at their obvious destination and continued towards the kitchen. 

“Help yourself to the eggs, Jason!” Serena called out from the stairs. “I don’t think Bernie and I are very hungry anymore.” 

“Speak for yourself, woman.” Bernie muttered as she pushed Serena into their room. Serena grinned and slammed the door behind them. 

-

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

_Make the yuletide gay_

_From now on, our troubles will be miles away..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m not sure if this really counts for the carol singing prompt but ah well, it’s been a looong day


	4. mrs claus

“Come on, Bernie,” Serena called up the stairs of the place she now shared with her wife. They had moved in together about four months ago and now it felt like they had been there forever. 

“Get a move on! Ric will never let us hear the end of it if we are late.”

Muffled grumbling floated back down the stairs and Serena laughed. Ric had decided to throw a huge Christmas party for everyone, inviting what seemed to be half of Holby. The rest of the gang from the hospital would be there, some of Ric’s old friends and some of his family.

Serena’s breath caught in her throat as she watched Bernie come down the stairs. Her eyes roamed from Bernie’s legs up to her waist and over her chest. She was in a deep red dress that stopped just above her knee, with a buckled belt around her waist, little black ankle boots and a Santa hat that read ‘Mrs Claus’ on the top. It wasn’t as risque as some of the other Mrs Claus costumes she had browsed for, most not suitable for a gathering with work mates, but it would do. 

When Bernie reached the bottom of the stairs, Serena met her eyes and licked her lips. This was the first time she had seen Bernie in a dress and certainly hoped it wouldn’t be the last. She just wanted to march her back up to the bedroom and strip it right off of her glorious body. 

“Hey, you, eyes up here,” Bernie joked, waving a hand to catch Serena’s attention.

“Right, yes,” Serena said, grinning at Bernie whilst still looking her up and down. “You should dress like this more often. I like it.”

“You look lovely too. If we weren’t already going to be late, I’d say let’s be late.”

“We could be later,” Serena offered, sliding her hands down Bernie’s sides and stopping at her hips. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“As tempting as that sounds, no,” Bernie said regretfully, kissing Serena on more time before pulling out of her embrace. “Now, can you help me with these bloody buttons at the back? Stubborn things.” 

Serena chuckled and worked on fastening the two buttons at the back of Bernie’s dress. She moved slowly, letting her fingers brush against the nape of Bernie’s neck. When she was done, Serena nosed under Bernie’s jaw and pressed a few kisses to her throat.

“There you go,” she said, breath feathering over Bernie’s skin. “You’re perfect.”

“Thanks,” Bernie said. She cupped the back of Serena’s head and pulled her up for a kiss that promised more for later. “We should really get going. I’ll put the stockings on and let you take them off of me later if you behave.”

Serena groaned in frustration.

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back, love.”

Serena was out of the door like a shot, clambering into the car leaving Bernie to lock up, shaking her head in disbelief.


	5. puppy

The house was empty when Bernie arrived home from a last minute shopping trip. She managed to find the perfume Serena was ranting and raving about after getting a tester in the mail a few weeks ago.

Shrugging out of her coat, she glanced at the Christmas tree and noticed a present that hadn’t been there earlier. After removing her wet boots, she padded over to the tree, and picked up the gift. It was light and soft. She frowned, then assumed Serena must have gotten her the jumper she had seen a week ago.

After putting the present back under the tree, she checked her phone for missed calls or messages, wondering where Serena had gone. She hadn’t mentioned going out when she left earlier. With nothing else to do, Bernie had insisted on heating up bolognaise, she lay down on the couch and grabbed one of the novels from the coffee table and ate whilst simultaneously flipping pages. 

Loud stumbling in the hallway brought her back to reality fifteen minutes later. Placing the book on the coffee table she walked towards the door cautiously, but relaxed when she heard Serena faintly mumble. They weren’t expecting visitors, perhaps she bumped into one of the neighbors. She opened the door and found her stuffing something in her coat, clutching it close as she looked at her in surprise.

“You’re home earlier than expected,” she said as she walked through the door, her arms covering the bulge underneath her coat awkwardly. Bernie closed the door behind her, turned and heard Serena mutter something under her breath whilst looking down at the bulge. Crossing the few feet that separated them, she leaned up and pecked her on the lips.

“Did you buy yourself a present you don’t want me to know about?”

Her eyebrows squished together. “What?”

“You already got _me_ a present,” she said pointing at the brightly wrapped gift underneath the tree.

“Oh, that’s not your present,” she blurted out with a smile, looking down at her. “That’s-“ she started then tilted her head, not knowing how to get around this. 

Bernie frowned, then stepped in even closer, intent on making her talk. She looked up at her with curiousity in her eyes. “Is it a present for the bedroom?”

Serena chuckled. “No, but it’ll probably end up there whether we want it to or not.”

Bernie narrowed her eyes, considering a different interrogation technique, when the bulge underneath Serena’s coat moved against her stomach.

Serena guffawed as she jumped back in surprise before giving in and opening her coat up for Bernie to see. 

Bernie gasped, eyes wide, as a light golden puppy poked its head out and yipped. She stepped closer to stroke the soft fur, then met Serena’s gaze. They had talked about getting a dog a few months ago; whether it would be fair with their work schedule; whether they had the time and energy to give it the attention it deserved. Bernie gazed at her with dancing eyes and a shy smile then took the puppy from Serena’s arms.

As the dog’s warm body wriggled and turned in her arms, she felt a lightness and warmth that momentarily made her forget the decision they had come to back then. The puppy clawed his way upwards and licked Bernie’s face enthusiastically. She giggled, trying to evade the wet tongue, then realized Serena had started snapping pictures with her phone.

Any effort to give her a stern look failed as the puppy kept worming his way into her heart. Bernie was still grinning when she said, “I thought we agreed to wait until the time was right?”

Serena reached out a hand and caressed her cheek. 

“I’ve wasted enough time waiting for the right time, darling.”

Leaning in to kiss her, she unfortunately drew the puppy’s attention who started squirming in Bernie’s arms in an effort to lick Serena’s face.

Avoiding the puppy’s sloppery kisses, she planted a lingering kiss on Bernie’s forehead instead, then locked eyes with her. The love she saw there made her stomach flutter, and she leaned in closer to hug her, being careful not to squash their new family member.

“Merry Christmas, Bernie,” she murmured in her ear.

With a chaste kiss to her cheek, Serena took a step back to look at the puppy and at Bernie, seeing a hint of something in her eyes that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

Serena held up a hand, not giving her a chance to voice her concerns. “The lady I adopted him from, her daughter is a dog sitter and trainer,” she said whilst she scratched the puppy’s head. “She has excellent references, and is willing to take care of him when we have to work different shifts or even at short notice if need be.”

Bernie gently placed the dog on the floor, and wrapped her arms around Serena, leaning her head against her shoulder, as she watched the pup wag his tail in excitement whilst exploring his new home.

“So, you really have thought of everything,” she said smiling, before looking up at her briefly.

“I have.”

“We’re really keeping him?”

“We are.”

They both watched the puppy run off into the dining room, and then watched him try to chew through the side of the table legs. 

“Um, Serena, did you think of putting aside money for some new furniture?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi: they def called their dog shiraz and he looks like this - [click here.](https://twitter.com/simmoslxter/status/882303431611908096?s=21)


	6. mistletoe

Bernie smiled as she looked around their front room. Serena had gone all out on the decorations this year, and was still bustling around, fixing up the room for the arrival of their guests. Bernie took a second to admire her wife's figure whilst she had her back turned to her, the way the deep burgundy dress hugged her curves in the most beautiful way, then cleared her throat to announce her presence. 

Serena whirled around, her expression slightly manic for a second, before calming it down into a matching smile. She walked over and pulled Bernie into a hug, resting her head on her shoulder. 

"How are things going? Nearly finished?" Bernie murmured.

"Good," replied Serena with a small sigh. "Just putting in some finishing touches. I just want to make sure everything is perfect tonight.”

"I think this room would fit anyone’s standard of perfect," Bernie reassured her. "Just take a look at it for a second. It’s incredible. Who’s going to complain about this?”

Serena released herself from Bernie’s embrace, and looked around the room. She turned back to Bernie with a shy smile. “I suppose you’re right.”

"I am. You’ve done a wonderful job and it’s going to be a lovely evening.” 

Serena smiles at Bernie’s words, feels slightly more comforted by them after doubting herself all day.

"Why don’t we take a seat and just wait for everyone to turn up? You need to relax.”

"Sure. Oh-“ said Serena, looking up and then back down at Bernie with mischief in her eyes.

"What?" Bernie looked up to see that she and Serena were standing under one of the many clumps of mistletoe hung about the room, and looked back down to see Serena standing up on her tip-toes, with her eyes shut and beginning to lean in for a kiss.

Bernie smiled as Serena’s lips touched hers. They stood there for a few seconds, kissing each other, hands fiddling with each other’s hair, before breaking away to breathe.

"Serena, can we keep one of these here all the time?”


	7. waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s a wee bit longer than a drabble, i got a wee bit carried away with myself! but i hope you enjoy it anyway <3

“Alright, Bernie, I’ll see you soon. Be safe, I love you,” Serena said her goodbyes to her partner, not knowing when the next time would be.  
  
“Bye Serena, love you,” Bernie returned before the call was ended. It was the first time Serena had heard her voice in over a month and she hadn’t seen her in person in a little over a year, only getting skype calls every so often if she was lucky. As much as she loves Bernie and wants her to be happy with her job, she couldn’t stand being alone and worrying about Bernie constantly. It was slowly driving her to insanity.  
  
The only thing that keeps her going are the visits that came yearly. One was coming up soon. Bernie is always home for Christmas and this year was no exception. Serena only had to wait a week before her beloved would be home. It would be the longest week of her life, but it’s always worth it. To finally be wrapped up tight in Bernie’s strong arms again and just having her home where she belonged.  
  
-

Serena stayed patient and tried to keep herself busy at all times. Making sure the house was spotless for Bernie’s arrival. She made plans with a couple of old friends for the week and tried to not think too much, but her mind couldn’t stop drifting to Bernie. 

When she fell asleep every night, she longed for the days when Bernie would wrap her arms around Serena’s waist, bundle her in closer and keep her warm throughout the night. Whenever she cooked a meal, she imagined having Bernie to share it with, holding hands and sharing looks across the table. Stepping into the shower, she would imagine Bernie stepping in behind her, washing her and caressing her so tenderly and so full of love. Bernie was constantly on her mind, the thought of her coming home was overpowering her ability to think straight.

She didn’t want to keep waiting anymore.  
  
-  
  
It had only been four days, but to Serena it felt like forever. She was shocked to see Bernie’s name appear on her phone around midday. _Maybe she’s coming home early._ Serena answered the phone excitedly. “Hello, you,” she chirped.  
  
“Um hi, Serena,” Bernie’s voice sounded sad. Serena was immediately worried. Her mind racing and thinking the worst.  
  
“What’s wrong? Are you injured? Are you okay? Oh god,” Serena asked, voice laced with concern.  
  
She heard Bernie sigh on the other line, “Don’t be angry at me please.”  
  
“I could never be angry with you. Please just tell me what’s going on?”  
  
“I don’t think I’m going to manage to get home for Christmas this year, love,” Bernie quickly said. She could almost hear Serena’s heart breaking down the phone.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I won’t be coming home. Originally, my superior was going to stay and go home after I came back but his wife just had their baby and he wanted to go home to see her so I told him he could go instead of me. I think I did the right thing.”  
  
“Oh, well that was nice of you,” Serena said with no emotion in her voice.  
  
“I’m so sorry. I wish it was different,” her voice was pained but not quite as pained as Serena felt, she hadn’t been expecting this.  
  
“When will I see you?” Serena whispered hesitantly down the phone, her eyes beginning to water as she twisted the pendant hanging from her neck around her fingers.  
  
“I’m not sure, it might not be for a while. They’re thinking of promoting me, if I leave they won’t,” Bernie explained. Serena couldn't hold the tears in any longer.  
  
“Alright, well, good luck, tell John I say congratulations, and I’ll see you whenever then,” Serena listed off, trying to end the call before the tears began to fall, not wanting to worry Bernie.  
  
“Yep, okay. I’m so sorry again. I love you so much, Serena.”  
  
“Bye,” Serena said without returning the I love you, not trusting herself to break out into heaving sobs. 

The second the call was ended she broke down. All of her excitement turned into resentfulness. Her sobs echoed throughout the house. Finally once her eyes dried and her hiccups stopped, she fell into a restless sleep.  
  
-

Serena didn’t get out of bed for the next two days. 

On the third day, she was forced to get up and go to a gift exchange that was organised earlier in the week. She showered and tried to make a little bit of an effort. When they asked about Bernie, she simply told them she hadn’t arrived yet, was still waiting and that she might be a day late.  
  
After the party was over she went straight home. A part of her still hoped Bernie would somehow be able to come home, even though she knew that hope was killing her softly.  
  
She got herself comfortable and turned on the TV watching whatever channel the television was already on, thinking about how she and Bernie could be snuggled up doing the same if she were here. She misses her presence greatly.  
  
As the clock neared eleven the doorbell rang. She assumed it was a neighbour or a friend returning something she left at their house earlier.  
  
She opened the front door only to find Bernie stood there, still in her army uniform, on one knee, holding a small black box in her hand. Serena’s hands rushed to cover her mouth before a sob escaped.  
  
“Serena, I’ve known you for eight years now and out of those the five we’ve been dating for have been the best of my whole life. I wanted to wait, but I couldn’t do it any more. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. Would you give me the greatest honour of becoming my wife?” Bernie’s eyes were shining as she looked up at Serena, who couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.  
  
She couldn’t get any sound out so she just nodded rapidly and tried to blink back the tears. Bernie slipped the ring onto her finger and kissed her hand delicately before standing up and letting Serena jump into her arms. She spun her around before setting her back down and peppering her face with kisses.  
  
“How are you here?” Serena asked, breathlessly.  
  
“I couldn’t stand leaving you alone on Christmas so I pulled a few strings and here I am,” Bernie grinned from ear to ear and Serena felt her face mirroring the exact same smile.  
  
“I love you so much,” Serena stepped forward to hug Bernie once more, before ushering her inside and out of the cold.  
  
“Right back at you,” Bernie told her with a kiss to Serena’s lips, as they settled down onto the couch and snuggled close, finally being able to be near each other again. 

Serena decided in that moment that she would wait forever.  



	8. snowball fight

Bernie whirled around to see a chunk of snow now stuck to her coat. She looked over at Serena, who was diligently shoveling the snow from their driveway. She gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed the snow had fallen from the roof, the sun was out and it was warm enough for the snow to melt and fall. 

However, the way the snow hit her felt like it had come from a horizontal direction and with more force rather than just falling on her from above.

-

Another one hit her square in the back this time. She turned around to look at Serena again, who was still shoveling. Serena acknowledged her suspicious stare this time and stopped to give her a coy smile before going back to work.

-

"Alright, love, if that's the game you want to play." 

Bernie dropped her shovel after a third snowball had hit her and bent over to start making her own. Serena had been secretly stockpiling snowballs, so she had quite a head start on Bernie, but she soon caught up to her.

Serena yelped when Bernie landed a snowball at the collar of her coat, the cold snow slipping down the front, "Oi! No dirty shots!"

"As if three free shots isn't dirty!" Bernie shot back before Serena hit one square against her jaw.

It was a silly scene, two grown adults flinging snowballs at each other across the driveway as if they were quarreling siblings. The spectacle continued until Serena worked her way close enough to pounce on Bernie. She squealed when she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, preventing her from escaping.

"There, no more nonsense, please,” Bernie chuckled.

Serena then keenly recognised that they were standing on a patch of ice. She pushed her body weight onto Bernie, effectively tipping her off balance and sending both of them tumbling into the snow. They started laughing, laughing so hard they had to brush stray tears away from each other’s cheeks. Serena pushed herself off of her chest. Bernie did look splendid with the snow sprinkled on her features, framing her face, dotted all around her blonde curls and she wanted to take it all in.

-

Serena has a handful of snow in her gloves, watching the horror on Bernie’s face grow as she holds it over her wife’s face and lets it fall on her.

“Oh, for fuck sake!” Bernie dramatically yelled. She was spitting out the snow and turning her face over to shake it off. Only to feel Serena straddle her in the snow, knees getting wet as she leaned down.

Her lips were soft and warm against Bernie’s cold, both their eyes closing shut and immersing themselves fully into it. Bernie could feel a smile against her lips and hummed. When Serena pulled back, she was looking down at Bernie with mischief in her eyes.

“Victory tastes like chocolate and honeycomb.”


	9. christmas with adrienne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you’re easily upset by talks of grieving, or graves or death in general, pls go into this with caution or give it a miss if need be! take care of yourself <3

“Serena, what do you usually get your mum for Christmas? I’m no use at buying gifts.”

“I usually just sit by her grave and have a bit of a cry to myself.”

“What?” 

After a moment of awkward silence, Serena mumbles an incoherent excuse about needing to clean up and flees to her room, swiping at her eyes as she goes.

-

“Tell me her name?”

Serena looks up at Bernie slouching against the doorway, seeing nothing but love and sincerity in her eyes and it wrapped around Serena like a warm hug, bringing a welcome ache to her chest. 

Bernie had followed Serena into their shared bedroom a little while later, giving Serena the time and space to gather her thoughts. _She’s clearly grieving, you idiot._

“Adrienne.”

Serena’s voice began to crack and her eyes filled with tears again, threatening to spill at any moment. The pain of losing her mother so young was still raw and deep-rooted and Serena was doing her best to try and cope. Bernie hates herself for being the one to bring all of this back up for Serena. Knows now why Serena never spoke of her mother at all, only briefly, but always memories. Never in the present.

Adrienne died three years ago. She was difficult, fiercely protective of Serena, her only child, and always wanted the best for her. Towards the end, her mother encouraged her to get herself into university, told her that the money she would gain from her will should be put to good use and that she wants Serena to have something to keep her occupied, something to strive towards because she’s the smartest girl she’s ever known. 

Serena thinks it is the best decision she has ever made.

-

“I’d like to come and spend Christmas with you and your mother.”

Serena looked confused. “Don’t you have any other plans? Don’t you spend Christmas with your family?”

Bernie shook her head, cautiously sat down on the bed by Serena, taking her hand in hers. 

“I’d like to spend it with you.”

Serena knows Bernie isn’t good with words. After three years of friendship and one year of longing after her, after admitting to herself that she fancied the pants off of her and not knowing if Bernie felt the same, she knows her quite well by now. 

Knows that _’I’d like to spend it with you’_ actually translates to _‘I don’t want you to be alone, I want to be there for you, I care about you.’_

But Serena can’t let herself fantasise, not now, Bernie is just being a good friend. _Don’t get your hopes up, McKinnie._

“Well, if you’re sure?”

“I am. What’s the plan?”

-

The following Saturday, Christmas Day, their halls at university were the quietest they had ever been, not a single person in sight. 

This day found Bernie and Serena trudging along in the snow together, arm in arm, companionable silence filling the air. Bernie not quite knowing what to say and Serena too scared to speak for the fear of bursting into sobs. 

They stop by a small corner shop that was still open and picked up some flowers to leave by Adrienne’s grave. Bernie buys some too.

As they make it to the gates of the cemetery, Serena seeks Bernie’s gloved hand, links their fingers together and squeezes ever so slightly. Bernie squeezes back. This is code for _‘I’m here for you, take your time, it’s all okay,’_ Serena notes, feels warmer already.

They walk around the grounds, Serena automatically walking the path she has done so many times. She comes here on birthdays and Christmases only, allows herself two days of the year to sit and cry and let it all out, she hasn’t the time for it being a distraction when she is three years deep into her degree, feels she should be over it by now. 

-

Serena came to a halt when she was faced with her mother’s grave. The tops were covered in snow, barely making out Adrienne’s name on the front. She wiped away the snow, tidying it up as best she could, and Bernie helped. When they had finished, Bernie took the flowers and placed them down gently in front of the stone. 

“Hi mum,” there was a weakness to Serena’s voice, Bernie knows she’s holding back tears, holding back what she really wants to say. “Merry Christmas!”

Bernie stood to wrap an arm around Serena’s shoulders as she sees her shiver slightly against the cold. She squeezes at her upper arm, nodding as if to tell Serena to carry on, to not let Bernie’s presence break tradition of what she does here every year. 

“A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. I have a gi- I have Bernie. Remember I told you about her back in June?” Serena gave a dry laugh. “This is her. She gave up her Christmas to come and be with me.”

Bernie turned her head to look at Serena, smiling at her, so in awe of how strong and incredible she is, and how brave she has had to be all this time through her grief. Bernie wants to help shoulder some of it, help in any way she can. She had distanced herself a while back, trying to suppress any feelings she had for Serena _because Serena is straight and what would Serena want with a disaster like me anyway,_ and it was the most challenging thing for her not to have Serena in her life constantly, never wants that horrible, empty, lonely feeling ever again.

Serena is still talking to her mum, Bernie too distracted by her own thoughts to have been listening properly or to notice Serena’s head now buried in the crook of her neck, she can hear how teary her voice is. She turns her body and wraps her arms around Serena, hugged her so tightly in the hopes that her love and care could be transmitted through it and into Serena without having to say anything. 

As they pulled apart, Serena felt braver than ever. 

Taking Bernie’s face in her hands, she leaned forward and pulled her into a kiss. It was slow and it was soft and it was everything she had imagined it to be a million times over. 

Breaking from the kiss, Serena looked mortified and was just about to apologise before Bernie stopped her with another kiss, stroking her cheek as she did so. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I want this just as much as you. I’m only sorry it took me until now, Serena.”

They kissed again, Serena’s tears spilling onto Bernie’s cheeks, mingling with her own. 

“I can’t believe I’m kissing a girl right in front of my mother’s grave.”

Bernie looked at Serena, eyes glistening with tears and happiness as they both began to burst out laughing. Bernie came to wrap her arms around Serena from behind, squeezing her in reassurance. 

“I’ll take good care of her, Adrienne.” 

Serena cried even more. 

Being here in Bernie’s arms, being loved and loving so fiercely in return, Serena _knows_ this is the best decision she has ever made.


	10. hospital kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain is mush today and so i just wrote anything that came to mind! hope it’s okay, do let me know <3

Nobody knows about them. And, for a few harrowing minutes that morning, Bernie thought nobody might ever know.

Not telling anyone in the hospital that she's seeing her co-lead is only rational, because telling everyone would have been too much, the rumour mill is relentless. They'd agreed on that, and Bernie has no problems with it. If the price of having Serena Campbell in bed beside her is having her there on the down-low, well, Bernie will happily pay that.

When Serena stopped in the middle of her kitchen with shooting pains in her lower stomach, she rang Bernie and asked in a strangled voice if she could come and get her, and then she collapsed, leaving Bernie worried on the other end and scrambling into her car. 

-

Now, sitting in the private hospital room, eight hours later, Bernie is having trouble with words at all, she's so exhausted. She carried Serena into the hospital, terror on her face and shouting at anyone for help, almost tripping on the icy ground on the entrance into the hospital. 

There's been a steady stream of people coming in and out: Donna, Fletch, a nurse from Keller that Serena was friendly with who wanted to pass on their well wishes. Serena herself was conscious for a few minutes, long enough for the doctor to tell her she had appendicitis, he was careful to say that they had to remove her appendix before it caused any further damage. Bernie had hung back, out of sight, mindful of the doctor's warning that Serena probably wouldn't be properly awake or aware after her operation so soon and to give her some time to adjust.

Serena’s skin is pale, not quite greyish anymore but washed out and unhealthy in the harsh overhead lighting. She’s still resting and Bernie doesn’t want to interrupt but feels the need to be closer to her, wants to look after her and if she spends one more minute in that uncomfortable, plastic hospital chair outside Serena’s room, she might scream.

Serena’s hair is sticking up at the back, and the front is disorderly, the result of medical attention and sweating no doubt. Bernie smooths it down lightly with her fingertips because Serena likes to be orderly, to look neat and put-together, no matter where she is. She always looks perfect to Bernie. 

-

It's dark outside, and soon they'll be darkening the hospital wards for the evening. Soon the nurses will have to kick Bernie out. Bernie bends and rests her forehead against Serena’s, surprised and relieved to find it warm.

"Bernie?" Serena’s voice is quiet and raspy, and at first Bernie wonders if she is imagining it. She leans back and Serena’s eyes open glassily, somehow even more frightening than anything else that's happened that day.

"Hi,” Bernie says.

"Time is it?” Serena asks.

"Just after 7 in the evening" she says. “Go back to sleep."

"Bed's funny," Serena frowns. Her pupils aren't fully focused, still adjusting to the harsh light after sleeping for so long.

"You're in the hospital."

Serena’s eyes close and she groans, the pain relief making her head all fuzzy.

"It's okay, you're fine," Bernie promises, hoping it's true, knows that now her appendix is out there shouldn’t be much to worry about other than recovery. She takes Serena’s hand and places a kiss to her knuckles, has missed the feel of Serena’s skin against her lips.

She smooths away the worry line in Serena’s forehead with her thumb, then brushes imaginary dust off her cheek. Serena reaches up to place her hand over Bernie’s, a reassuring act. Serena is physical, but not demonstrative; Bernie can see, sometimes, that she wants to show things more, wants to touch in ways that are intimate rather than sexual, but habit or perhaps lack of trust with herself prevents it. It’s all still very new to her, to them both. 

Serena shifts a little, pats the bed beside Bernie as an invitation to join her. 

“Are you sure, Serena?”

“They watched you carry me up here like the big hero you are, they’ll probably be suspicious anyway. Let them think what they like. I want a cuddle and a kiss.”

Bernie pushes down the arms of the bed and half lays down, putting an arm around Serena and pulling the sheet just up around her torso. Serena turns to face her, fluttering her eyelids and puckering her lips.

“My kiss?”

Bernie obliges. Serena moans happily into it. 

“I feel much better already. I’ve missed you.”

With that, Serena lets out an exhale that clearly drops her deep into sleep, wrapped up warm in Bernie’s arms. Bernie runs her hand through Serena’s hair, placing a kiss to the side of her forehead and then a soft brush of lips against the delicate skin of her closed eyelids, perhaps a superstitious good luck charm for easy sleep.

She can’t get enough of kissing her, doesn’t want to go a day without doing it ever again. Unbeknownst to her, Donna had been stood watching them for the past ten minutes, trying to contain her squeals behind the glass window of the door. 

Bernie spies her but pays no mind, just smiles shyly and turns back to place a kiss to Serena’s cheek, and snuggles in closer.

_Let them think what they like._


	11. tradition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no edward or marcus! they’re all mckinnie-wolfes <3

Decorating the Christmas tree was one of their traditions. For as long as all the McKinnie-Wolfe children could remember they had followed exactly the same routine no matter what they would be doing during the rest of the month.

The first Saturday in December, Serena would go up into the attic and bring down their boxes of Christmas decorations, Bernie would go down to the local garden centre to get their tree along with Cameron and Jason, and they would cut down as much Christmas greenery as they could find. Then, just as it started to get dark they would all gather around to decorate the house.

Jason was always the overseer, he knew how things were meant to look and he would always rather make sure that everything was going smoothly than dash around like a mad person like everyone else. That way he knew who needed help most.

Charlotte would take charge of the nativity scene first, including the important task of hiding the baby Jesus where none of her siblings would be able to find him until she revealed him on Christmas Eve, none of them were quite sure how she managed it – Cameron was sure she cheated somehow.

Cameron would always ensure the most embarrassing childhood creations were taken out of the box and put on display – although his always seemed to disappear into a strange part of the house until Bernie found them about a week later upon which him and Serena would take great glee in displaying them in the most prominent place possible. 

Elinor would always take charge of the windows, making sure that all of their neighbours knew that the McKinnie-Wolfe’s had their decorations up. Though the year she brought fake snow to spray on them she deeply regretted it, none of them could see out onto the street for weeks. Although her favourite job was when she got to climb the trees in their front garden to put the lights up, a job everyone apart from Serena was very glad to see her take on - if only because they couldn’t climb trees very well themselves.

Jason would then put a couple of ornaments on the tree and move a few around before getting bored and going outside with the dogs, he never had much interest in actually decorating and since no one really thought it was a good idea to have the dogs around breakable items, he was happy to see to them. 

Bernie and Serena were always in charge of the tree, each of the children would put a few ornaments up but really it was their special thing. Serena would tell the story of each ornament as she put it on the tree and no one would listen properly because they had heard every story a hundred times each already, occasionally Bernie would correct her and place a soft kiss to her cheek whenever she got muddled up but they loved knowing that the stories were the same every time and that they could all recite them word for word.

They never had a particularly lavish dinner but it was afterwards that was the important part of the day. Charlotte would take her spot at the piano and all of them would gather around to sing songs and laugh together. Not a sad face in sight. 

It was the start of their Christmas and it was a tradition that none of them ever intended on giving up.


	12. sparkles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not going to lie, after last night’s show, i’m finding it very difficult to write from the emptiness my wee heart is feeling right now.
> 
> i’ll continue on with the drabbles and try to ignite the berena spark one last time, and give you all a safe place to hide in headcanons and fluff, but it is hard. take care of each other <3

Bernie lay on her back on the sofa. Serena was nestled against her side listening to Etta James singing on the radio. She watched the snow drift in lazy flakes past the window, sparkling with color from the Christmas lights outside; the tree in the corner shown brightly in the darkened room.

Serena turned her head and smiled at Bernie.

“Our first Christmas together,” she said, then leaned in to softly kiss Bernie’s lips. Bernie returned the kiss and when they broke apart, the sparkle of joy in their eyes shone brighter than all the Christmas lights in the world.


	13. christmas jumpers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought we could all do with a bit of a laugh <3

Bernie stares at the offending item from across the room. “I am not wearing that."

"Oh, yes you are," Serena counters, waving the jumper around in her hands with a smirk on her face. She presses the big reindeer nose and it starts to sing Jingle Bells, Serena wiggles along to the tune. 

Bernie glares over at her from where she is pouring water into her coffee. "No. I'm not."

"Oh, but Bernie, look how cute it is! All of our colleagues will be wearing one. You must?” Serena pleads, scoffing at her for refusing to wear the jumper. 

Bernie just shakes her head and turns away. 

"It's an ugly Christmas jumper party. You can't _not_ wear an ugly Christmas jumper to an ugly Christmas jumper party,” Serena says, shifting on her feet where she stands in the doorway, putting on her best puppy dog eyes for Bernie. 

Bernie eventually turns around, sips her coffee and sighs. "I can and I will.”

"Come on," Serena whines, her eyes suddenly beginning to sparkle and a smile that can only mean trouble forming on her face. "I'll make it worth your while," she sing-songs, voice as sweet as honey.

Bernie saunters over to her and puts her hands on the either side of the door frame, positions herself to where their faces are only a few inches apart. 

“No.” 

-

Six hours later, Bernie and Serena are stood at the front door of Albie’s clad in their ugly outfits. Serena pushes the little reindoor nose on Bernie’s jumper, it begins to sing.

Bernie groans and enters the pub.

-

Bernie stops in the doorway and almost makes Serena walk straight into her. 

"What? What's wrong?"

Bernie turns around to face her. "You said," she points a finger at her accusingly and Serena frowns, leaning away from it. "This was and and I quote 'an ugly Christmas jumper party.'"

"Yes,” Serena glances around the room. "So?"

"So, why are we the only ones wearing any?"

"Oh, yeah," Serena smiles. "Forgot to mention. It's only an ugly Christmas jumper party for us."

"What?" Bernie narrows her eyes.

"For everyone else it's a black tie affair," she giggles, delighting in Bernie’s disbelieving expression.

"I'm getting a drink,” Bernie mutters, walking off towards the bar with slumped shoulders, Ric Griffin teasing her as she slides onto the bar stool next to him. 

-

When they get home several hours later, Serena most definitely made it all worth Bernie’s while.


	14. candlelight

Serena was woken up by the sound of the news blaring on the television, the alarm in their bedroom beeping something awful, the smell of cooling wax, and she and Bernie’s phones beeping with unread messages. Groaning against the much too early assault on her senses, she stretched her arms out over her head, blinking the sleep out of her eyes before she was reminded of Bernie’s sleeping form in her lap. Sometime during the night - _what time is it anyway?_ \- Bernie had shifted, her face hidden under the blanket now.

"Bernie," Serena mumbled softly, squinting around the room in the too bright light. Most of the candles they had stupidly left lit the previous night were no longer burning, with only one or two still flickering away in the kitchen. Bernie mumbled incoherently, making Serena roll her eyes. If they didn't get up soon they would be late for—

Fuck! _Work._

"Bloody hell!" Serena hissed, reaching for the nearest phone on the table next to her. Ignoring all the unread text messages and missed calls, she checked the time, swearing again when her phone read 11:02 AM. 

“Bernie, we're late for work!” She said, throwing the blanket back and standing up, Bernie’s head falling from her lap to the couch.

Ignoring Bernie’s grumbled response, she rushed around the house, turned off that bloody alarm clock and television, put the kettle on to boil, blew out the candles, went to the bathroom and then came back. She stood with her hands on her hips, observing Bernie’s peaceful form wrapped back up in the blankets on the couch, looking almost too sweet and cosy to bother.

But, they really _were_ late for work. Even though Ric would probably understand if she called and said they'd been snowed in, he wouldn't know it was a lie as they now live on the outskirts of Holby, tucked away in the countryside in a newly bought bungalow that they’ve both grown to call their home.

_To hell with it._

Serena picked up her phone and called in to the hospital, giving him the snowed in excuse she had on the tip of her tongue when he answered.

She threw her phone down on the table next to her near dead laptop and fixed the blankets around Bernie so she was more comfortable and tucked in.

"Serena?” Bernie now roused by Serena’s hands fluttering on her face. "What time is it?"

"Just after eleven." She answered, wondering how she might react to such news. She _never_ sleeps in. Bernie was always up at the crack of dawn, always the one waking Serena up and making her face the morning against her will. It was never the other way around. 

And yet, this time, it was. The constant night shifts are really not doing Bernie any favours. 

"Shouldn't we be getting ready for work?" Bernie asked, her voice thick in her half-asleep state.

"Mmm, we're not going to work today."

"No? Why not?"

"We're snowed in. Well, if Ric calls we are, anyway," she shrugged, glancing out the window just behind the couch. There was barely a few inches on the ground, hardly cause for concern. She didn't think any schools or businesses had been closed as a result of the snow.

_One day won’t harm anyone._

"Snow day?"

"Yes, Bernie, a snow day,” Serena chuckled, crouching down just beside her and pushing away stray blonde locks behind Bernie’s ear.

"Can I have some tea then?"

"Of course, give me a sec.” 

Serena kissed her forehead and walked back to the kitchen to the now steaming kettle. She had a cup of tea sitting near Bernie within minutes, but it grew cold before she could actually drink it. And when she finally did wake up — truly wake up to ask why they weren't going in to work and what lie had they told Ric again — she asked for another, and they spent the morning on the couch, finishing books and ignoring any calls and texts in lieu of each other's company under the warmth of their blankets and loving embrace.

Serena had missed one candle, the one sitting central on the fireplace in front of them still burning away. 

Bernie stared at it, her head propped up by Serena’s thighs once more, much like the position they were in the night before. She placed her book on the table, bringing the blanket back up to her chin. 

“Serena, love, don’t forget the alarms.”

Bernie watched the candle's flame dance, Serena’s hand gently toying with her hair, book in the other, as she was slowly lulled back into a peaceful slumber. Serena would wake her later to go to bed but for now, she enjoyed the comfortable weight of Bernie against her, gently snoring away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> isn’t sleepy bernie just the CUTEST??


	15. karaoke night

Bernie turned around only a second after they had all entered the bar. Fletch, Ric and Donna were accompanying them tonight for a little festive gathering. Bernie’s eyes quickly searched for Serena, who was trailing behind.

Her face was a mixture of annoyance and loathing when she finally found her. Serena had walked in last and was now standing behind the rest of them as though she wanted to block the way so they couldn’t escape. 

“You bloody tricked us!” Bernie complained. 

When Serena just grinned at her, she turned back around to her colleagues, who looked at her confused because they didn’t understand what the problem was. _Yet._

Bernie rolled her eyes. “It’s a karaoke bar!”

Serena had tried to convince them to have a karaoke night for months now, but none of them had ever agreed, least of all Bernie. So when Ric rallied the AAU troops for an end of year get together, she told them that she knew a nice place not too far away from the centre of town, but had evidently failed to mention that it was a karaoke bar.

“Come on! It’ll be fun. We’ve come all this way...” she raised her eyebrows smiling at the others innocently.

Donna chuckled but eventually agreed with Serena, already running over to put her name down for a sing song.

“Well, come on then. Let’s find a booth and I’ll get the first round of drinks,” Ric suggested, mainly addressing Bernie, who still didn’t look very happy but eventually agreed, not even trying to bite back a curse under her breath. 

Ric had quickly found a table for the five of them - not too close to the small stage where the karaoke singers performed their chosen songs – and waited for the others to sit down before he went to get them the promised drinks.

-

The evening wasn’t as bad as Bernie had expected it to be, but still she knew she wasn’t going to be a big fan of this. If she knew Serena at all, she’d be up there hogging the microphone all night with Donna, the attention would never come to be on Bernie. She hated that sort of thing.

Bernie warned the others as she finished her third beer. “Just for the record, I am not singing tonight.” 

Not even an hour, but four beers later, and a shot drinking competition between Bernie and Ric which Fletch tried to keep up in too, failing miserably, Serena and Donna dragged her to the stage to perform. 

Bernie was staggering slightly, her words slurred, but the drink and the smile Serena was giving her, gave her a bit of confidence. 

“I’m not singing this by myself. It’s a two woman job.” 

Luckily the bar wasn’t too full of people and apart from their table of friends, Bernie couldn’t spot anyone she knew when she stepped onto the small stage next to Serena and into the spotlight.

Serena gives Bernie a quick smile as the music starts to play and Bernie returns it whilst entwining their fingers, as they begin to sing quietly, more to each other than anyone else. 

_I really can’t stay_

_But baby, it’s cold outside_

_I’ve got to go away_

_But baby, it’s cold outside_

_This evening has been_

_Been hoping that you’d drop in_

_So very nice_

_I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice_


	16. ice skating

“I think I’m getting the hang of it!” Serena shouts, turning to look for Sian over her shoulder. She realises her mistake a moment too late. One foot shoots left, the other right, and she’s tipping forward, stomach lurching, arms up to cover her face and the ice coming up to meet her. She shrieks and closes her eyes, preparing for the pain. But it never comes.

Someone catches her beneath the arms, and while her face is smashed into a shoulder and her feet are still skidding in different directions, she’s still standing. The person skates them backwards a little way until they’re leaning against the side of the rink, then helps Serena stand up properly, keeping one hand on her waist, the other on her shoulder. Serena finally looks up, cheeks burning, heart racing, and sees a woman looking down at her, one eyebrow raised and dark eyes sparkling with mirth.

“I am so sorry,” Serena says, trying to back away and slipping again, only the woman’s hands on her keeping her steady. “I’m sorry, how embarassing. I’m new at this. My friend-“

She turns to point to Sian who is doubled over with laughter on the other side of the rink.

Serena squeezes her eyes shut, wishing the ground would swallow her.

“Don’t worry about it,” the woman says, her voice tinged with amusement. “Really. I’m glad, now I have a reason to talk to you.”

Serena eyes fly open in shock. “Me?”

“Yeah. I noticed you coming in and thought you looked lovely. I think everyone noticed you, actually. Nice hat by the way.”

Serena rolls her eyes, trying to pretend she isn’t blushing harder than ever.

“No, I like it. It’s very soft, suits you,” the woman says, reaching up to run her hands over it, just gently tracing Serena’s cheek before bringing her hand back to her side.

“I’m Bernie, by the way.”

“Serena.”

“Well, Serena, do you want me to teach you how to skate? Since clearly your friend isn’t doing a very good job at looking after you.” 

Serena ducks her head and grins, hardly able to believe this is happening. “That would be nice.”

“Good. I should probably keep hold of your hand, just to make sure you don’t slip again,” Bernie says, smiling playfully and squeezing Serena’s gloved hand.

She doesn’t let go for the rest of the day.


	17. pudding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek if this goes w the prompt but WHATEVER LMAO ENJOY

Bernie barely had two bites of her Christmas pudding before Guinevere gave her those puppy dog eyes that she could never not give in to. 

She hoisted Guinevere up onto her lap and fed her the remains of her dessert from a spoon, melted ice cream dripping all down their clothes. Bernie didn’t care, moments like these made her realise giving up her life in Nairobi was absolutely worthwhile, she wouldn’t trade this for the world. 

Serena watched them both from across the room, a smile creeping onto her lips. She loved watching the pair of them interact, they were like two peas in a pod and Serena couldn’t believe her luck that this was her life now. 

“Guin, darling, don’t you think Auntie Bernie would like some?”

“Mine! Mine!” 

Bernie turned to Guinevere and put on a pretend sad face but couldn’t resist a chuckle as Guinevere only laughed at her and grasps at Bernie’s wrist to shovel more of the pudding into her tiny mouth. Bernie nuzzles into her soft blonde locks, squeezing her gently round her middle, smiling as she hears Guinevere squeal with joy. _Yep, definitely never trading this._

Guinevere demands that Bernie takes her for a bath and then read her a bed time story and Bernie beams, she can never seem to turn her down, especially when two little blue eyes are gazing up at her full of wonder and adoration. Guinevere has Bernie wrapped right around her little finger and Bernie wouldn’t have it any other way. 

She chases Guinevere up the stairs and into the bathroom, tickling her and making funny voices as they go. She turns the tap on and lets the bath fill whilst getting some towels. She meets a beaming Serena on the landing just outside the bathroom.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“The little thief ate the last of my favourite pudding and ruined my favourite shirt!”

Serena smirks. “I wouldn’t worry too much, you’ll get your real dessert later on.” 

They lean in just close enough to peck lips before Guinevere comes bounding over into their legs, almost taking them out. “Splash, me splash now peeees!”

They both laugh, Bernie reaches down to ruffle Guinevere’s hair before ushering her into the bathroom, patting Serena’s backside before going in and closing the door behind her.

“I’ll be waiting,” Serena chimes as she walks off, shaking her head with a fond smile on her face.


	18. christmas with jac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dunno what the heck this is and it’s probably OOC for jac bc i’ve never written her before but OH WELL

“Just tell her how you feel, Bernie. Sitting out here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to be of much use to either of you.” 

So that’s it. That’s how Bernie decides she is in love with Serena Campbell, that she doesn’t want to go another day without her in it. All thanks to a chat with Jac Naylor on Christmas Eve in the pissing rain, underneath an umbrella, on a bench outside of a pub.

-

Fletch sits inside Albie’s with Serena drunkenly slumped against his right shoulder, occasionally popping her head up to inform him just how much she likes Bernie, how she thinks Bernie is such a fearless and fantastic doctor.

Fletch encourages her but Serena is determined that Bernie would never lay eyes on her in that way. 

She knows she’s just fantasising, she isn’t even sure exactly how she feels herself, if she’s honest. She’s never been this way inclined about a woman before until Bernie came along, until Bernie made her feel like the most special person on earth whenever she laid eyes on her. Until Bernie stood by her through Elinor’s drug use and her time in rehab, through the counselling both mother and daughter had to endure for two years, Bernie was there through it all and had seen Serena at her worst. Strong and steady Bernie, always there holding her up. 

It wasn’t until two days ago when they both sat on the floor of their trauma theatre - the theatre they poured blood, sweat and tears into for months to get up and running - after a gruelling six hour operation in which the young boy sadly passed away, that Serena leaned in to Bernie, closer than they have ever been before. 

Bernie ran before anything could happen.

-

Serena wasn't sure when she realised that Bernie was missing from the bar. It seemed as though hardly any time had passed since she had spoken to her but when she thought about it, she had abandoned Bernie for far too long having become caught up in conversation with a number of people she knew, and then having a heart-to-heart with Fletch for goodness knows how long. 

Jac comes back inside just as Serena manages to stand on two feet, albeit a bit wobbly but supported by Fletch holding her up by under the arm. 

“Oi, Campbell!”

Serena scoffs. “Pfft, what?”

“Bernie’s been out there moping over you for the best part of half an hour. I suggest you get out there and sort her out before it’s too late.”

Serena’s face softens, her eyebrow raised as high as it can go, she knows what Jac is implying. “Ever the romantic, aren’t you?”

Jac gives Serena a look that would usually send a shiver down her spine had she not consumed the best part of four glasses of wine, which gave her more confidence. Jac slams the wet brolly into Serena’s hand and gives her a nudge towards the door, Serena barrelling out into the rain. 

-

Bernie hears footsteps but doesn’t turn to look at who it is, thinks it’ll just be Jac coming back with a drink or someone random leaving to go home. It was getting late. 

Serena knew that Bernie would eventually become aware of her presence so she didn't bother to say anything, simply sat beside her and wrapped an arm around Bernie’s waist. Instead, she waited, confident that Bernie would speak when she was ready and simply enjoyed the feeling of closeness between them, her mind drifting off elsewhere.

Bernie’s fingers entwining with Serena’s brought her back from her musings and she turned to nose at Bernie’s jaw. 

Serena waited.

“I- I think I’m in love with you.” 

Serena’s breath hitched at Bernie’s sudden declaration. She wasn’t expecting that. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to come out from Bernie’s mouth but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“You’re in love with me?”

Bernie looked into Serena’s eyes, not quite able to read the emotion in them. “Oh, christ. What have I done?”

Bernie stood and began to walk away, cursing herself for being such an idiot. A hand clutched at her wrist, stopping her from going any further. Soon enough, she was stood face to face with Serena once more, mirroring their position from a couple of days prior in theatre. 

Serena waits about half a second before doing what she should have done two days ago. 

“It’s just as well I’m in love with you too, then.”

She kisses Bernie and can’t seem to stop herself now that she has started, hopes that her kisses speak a thousand words that she hasn’t been able to say, hasn’t felt brave enough to say. Until now.

_I’m head over heels for you_

_I’m sorry it took me so long_

_You’re the best thing to ever happen to me._

She feels brave now as she guides Bernie into the nearest taxi, only manages to stop kissing her to tell the driver her address. This will be a Christmas to remember.

-

Jac enters her office - one week into the new year - to the biggest and brightest bouquet of flowers sat on her desk. She picks up the card. 

**Thanks, Cupid.**  
**Love,**  
**S & B xx**


	19. trimming the tree

“Merry Christmas, Serena,” Bernie said, dangling a piece of mistletoe over her wife’s head.

It took Serena a moment to realise what she was doing, but she quickly took the hint, drawing her in for a long kiss.

“Did you get everything you wanted?” Bernie asked once they’d finally broken apart.

Serena looked around at the wreckage of their living room, which now contained a ridiculously large tree decked out in the finest of decorations that the town had to offer, the string lights framing the room from the roof perfectly, setting a perfect glow around them. There were presents as well, not that you could see them for the sheer volume of decorations covering their tree.

It had been a hard year for them both, and Serena was so relieved to see it over. They had gotten through it together. The two of them had overcome every obstacle and survived every separation – and she knew that they would do it all again, if it came to it. 

“I already have everything I want,” Serena said truthfully, pulling her in for another kiss.


	20. blizzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is tropey as HECK and so predictable but ya enjoy anyway x

Bernie pressed on the brake for the fifth time in the last half mile. She couldn’t see a foot in front of the car. Everything was dark, the sun almost done setting and the snow storm not letting up. She and Serena were driving back from the charity ball that they had both attended that weekend. A weekend full of self-restraint around one another, trying not to ruin the great friendship they had built together and trying to rid of the longing they both felt. 

Bernie steals a glance at Serena, who is bobbing her head to the beat of the song on the radio and singing along under her breath, her voice growing in volume with every lyric she was sure on and softening with the ones she wasn’t confident singing. Bernie smiled internally, keeping her stoic expression plastered on the outside. She liked Serena, had admitted that aloud to herself several times. But at some point in the past year of being friends with Serena, she started feeling different. 

Her heart sped up and stopped at the same time whenever she walked into the room. Her palms became instantly sweaty when Serena smiled and her dimples were set free, her big brown eyes full of mirth taking Bernie’s breath away.

Serena could feel Bernie’s gaze on her and she met her eyes, half a smile displayed on her face. “I think we should maybe find a hotel for the night. It isn’t safe to be driving in this weather.”

“I think you’re right.” Bernie handed Serena her phone. “Look up the nearest one.”

-

The reception of the hotel, something not too nice but generally just above average, was packed with people. The two of them elbowed their way through the sea of humanity to the front desk. Serena whipped out her award-winning smile, the one that made Bernie almost faint every time it has been aimed at her.

“Hello, how may I help you?” The man on the reception welcoming them warmly.

Serena rested one arm on the countertop, leaning in so he could hear her and so she could hear him. “I’d like a room for the night.”

“You’re in luck! We have one room available.”

“Perfect,” Serena said.

“The thing is,” he interjected before she could say anything else. “The room only has one bed.”

Both Bernie and Serena froze. Bernie heard her heart in her ears, sure that the whole world could hear it too.

“That’ll be fine,” Serena said, voice cracking slightly.

Serena gave the man her information and he gave her two keys to the room, giving them the low-down that all hotel front desk workers give when you first check in. Flashing him one more smile, Serena thanked him. Hefting up her bags, the two of them made their way to the lift.

Bernie decided that staring at the floor was better for her than looking at Seren. _One bed._

They arrived at their floor, Serena trailing behind Bernie as she searched for the corresponding number on their key. Bernie inhaled heavily, her mind travelling a thousand miles an hour through a thousand different things that all had two relations: one bed and Serena. She avoided eye contact as Serena held the door open for her and she entered, dropping her bags on the floor at the other side of the room. Serena lets the door shut before setting her things down too.

-

“So…” Serena said, scratching the back of her neck. “What should we do about sleeping arrangements?”

Bernie bit her lip. “Well, I could take the floor and you can have the bed.”

Serena shrugged. “Or we could both share the bed. No harm in it.”

“Alright. Let’s do that.”

With that confirmation, Serena departed to the bathroom. She decided to change, all the while preparing herself for a night of torture. How was she going to trust herself enough to sleep peacefully when there’s a Bernie sleeping next to her in the same bed? She had been wanting to let Bernie know about how she felt for weeks now, the night at the ball only spurring her on, but she couldn’t face the inevitable rejection. Now they were snowed in, not knowing how long for and she didn’t want things to be awkward between them.

Serena emerged from the bathroom, tossing her clothes from that day onto her open suitcase, and finding Bernie removing her make up in her pyjamas. 

“Do you want a certain side or…”

Serena shook her head. “No, I don’t have a preference.”

Serena slid under the covers. Bernie turned out the lights, following suit on the open side of the bed, shuffling to the edge to put space between them. 

“Night,” she said to Bernie, back facing her friend.

“Night,” Bernie responded, on her back but facing the opposite direction of Serena.

The only sounds were their breaths and the wind of the snow storm whipping against the building. Serena remained cold as time continued on. She checked her phone, wide awake after being cold and stationary after a half hour of being in bed. 

She was positive Bernie had dozed until she spoke.

-

“Are you cold too?”

Serena’s heart paused. “I am. Are you?”

“Yes.” Pause. “Do you want to… you know… I mean if that’s too weird—?”

Serena rolled over, facing her now, the street lamp from outside allowing Serena to just make out Bernie’s sleepy features. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Her voice was a hushed whisper. Bernie turned to wrap her arms around Serena, bodies pressed completely together. Serena’s breath was warm and tickled her neck. After a couple of minutes, Serena turned her head to say something and found lips brushing against her own.

Bernie pulled away quickly, still wrapped in Serena. 

“Sorry, I—”

Serena silenced her with her mouth, moving their lips in a gentle kiss that threw sparks between the two of them, their chills now disappearing.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” Serena commented. If they had kissed for any longer, she’d be breathless.

“Trust me, I do.”

Serena smiled, nuzzling her face into the crook of Bernie’s neck, feeling utterly secure in her arms. She drops a kiss to the skin on her throat and lets herself drift off into a cosy, peaceful slumber.


	21. stocking stuffers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for this being so dumb lmao my brain is mashed from the past couple of days! apologies, i’ll be sure to make the last three extra special <3

Serena carefully lifted Bernie’s arm from around her waist and set it back down as gently as possible so as to not wake her. It was their first Christmas as a couple, the first they had spent living together as well, and she had a surprise she wanted to make sure she saw when she went through the stocking hanging from the fireplace in the morning.

She and Bernie had agreed they wanted a baby, wanted to start a proper family and life together as soon as possible. Serena started with the IFV treatments and found out two days ago that she was in fact finally pregnant. She hadn’t even told her mother yet because she wanted to tell Bernie first and felt that Christmas morning would be the best time to give her a gift that would change both of their lives forever.

Serena had found a card that said “Merry Christmas Mummy” on it, then had carefully folded up the test results and slipped it into the card and then put it inside its green envelope. She hoped she’d manage to surprise Bernie but in the last week, she’d found every gift they had under the tree and deduced everything she had gotten her, some even just by looking and not touching. 

She easily made it from their bedroom to the bookshelf, pulling out the card from between the pages of the book where she had stashed it, and then dropped it into Bernie’s stocking, smiling to herself at how good she had been. She had turned and taken two steps back towards the bedroom when she saw Bernie staring at her from the doorway.

“You aren’t in the loo,” she said slowly.

“And you’re supposed to still be in bed,” Serena said in the same measured tones.

“I always wake up when you get out of bed,” Bernie said.

“I had _hoped_ you were in the loo so I could slip this in your stocking and could do it all properly in the morning.”

Bernie waves around a small navy velvet box, clutched tightly in her palms.

“Oh,” she said softly.

“I should have known it wouldn’t go my way,” she said with a sigh.

“You can do it properly now?” Serena suggested tentatively.

“On bended knee, I assume?” She asked, shaking her head and laughing at her partner.

“That would be lovely,” she said, giving Bernie a warm smile. 

Bernie closed the distance between them, got down on one knee and took Serena’s left hand in her own, placing a kiss to her knuckles before speaking. 

“Serena, you have helped make me a better person in the time we have known each other, I am forever grateful for that. And I love you, far more than I can ever say, so I had hoped I could show you instead, for the rest of my life.” 

Bernie opened the lid of the box and Serena felt tears sting at the corners of her eyes as she saw the sparkling diamond for the first time.

“Will you marry me?” Bernie asked, looking up at her. Serena nodded tearily at her, lost for words before choking out the only important one that Bernie was waiting to head. 

“Oh, Bernie, yes. Of course I will,” she said as Bernie took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger easily. Relief flooding her that the size was right, she wanted it to be perfect. 

Serena then took a step back, pulling her hand from Bernie’s and went to her stocking, reaching for the card. She handed it to her and Bernie took it with a frown, setting down the box before opening the card. Serena could see the exact moment that Bernie realised what she was reading, her hands were shaking as she opened the card and noticed the pregnancy results. “Oh my god!”

“I think our child would rather have us married before they’re born, don’t you think?” Serena asked.

Bernie stood up straight, tossing the card to the side and gathering Serena close to her, tears mingling with Serena’s own. 

Bernie crushed her lips to Serena’s as she embraced her tightly. _What a way to start their first Christmas together._


	22. christmas market

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only two more days/fics left, i can’t believe it! hope you’ve all enjoyed them this far, we are all a talented bunch! <3

Serena slyly tries to check the time again, doing her best to ignore Ric and Fletch’s knowing grins.

“So, Serena, all ready for your date?” Fletch asked.

“It’s not a date.”

“Really? Bernie didn’t invite any of us out to the Christmas market with you both?” Ric said in mock offence.

“It isn’t a date,” Serena repeated. “Just two colleagues spending time together.”

“Only colleagues?” Fletch needled.

Serena made a face. “Why don’t you get back to working on your little present for Jac, hm?”

Fletch froze. He didn’t realise he had been so transparent in his pining for Jac all these months. Serena sees right through him. 

She winks at him, his shoulders dropping after feeling tense for a moment and like he had just been caught out. He wished her a good day and she slipped away in the lift.

-

Bernie hadn’t been quite sure about her decision to visit the Christmas market, considering the potential of an awkward journey back if Serena didn’t like it but her worries had proven unfounded. A smile never left Serena’s face all day. 

Bernie knew this was a date, thinks Serena may be contemplating the same thing. They have been pining for months but the other just not being brave enough to come right out and say what they were feeling. Knowing glances, little touches and smiles confirmed it, but there needed to be words, an actual confirmation. Bernie wasn’t really bothered about the market, she just wanted an excuse to ask Serena out in a nicer setting than the hospital, wanted it to be special. 

Seeing as Serena was distracted by the lights and attractions going on around her, Bernie told her she would find some drinks for the pair of them.

-

Bernie found that she was enjoying herself more than she’d thought. Oh, she’d known she would enjoy spending time alone with Serena considering how she could spend hours sitting in their office while they did their paperwork, sharing little looks over their computer screens, but she was genuinely enjoying today.

Bernie gave Serena a slight nudge to notify her of her presence before thrusting a cup of something warm into her hand.

“I thought we could use some hot chocolate to warm up.”

“Thanks, Bernie, smells wonderful.”

Serena takes a sip, spluttering at the taste. 

“Christ almighty, what else is in this?”

Bernie smirks at her, knowing full well she had asked for a few drops of liquer to be put into their cups. “Just a little something to give it a bit of a kick.” 

“Are you trying to get me pissed, Ms Wolfe?”

“Me? Never.”

_A little bit of dutch courage however..._

-

“What shall we do next, Bernie?”

They were stood to the side of the walkway, out of everyone’s way. Bernie was looking around at the different things to do and see, her gaze eventually resting on the ferris wheel. She points to it.

“That one.”

_You have got to be kidding me,_ Serena thinks to herself. She forgot Bernie was a bit of a thrill seeker. 

“You want me to get on this?” Serena asked nervously. Bernie just nodded and pushed her gently towards the entrance to the big wheel. 

“Christ, that’s high.” Serena looks up and fixes her eyes on the highest gondola towering above them.

“Come on! No need to be scared. I bet there is a beautiful view over the city from up there.” Serena closes her eyes, nodding decisively, finding she couldn’t quite bring herself to turn an excited Bernie down.

“I must be going mad,” she mumbled as they sat down in a small two-man gondola. The security belt was closed and the wheel slowly began to move. The ride upwards wasn’t too bad, but when the gondola sank back down, Serena clenched her fingers into the handrails as if she wanted to break them off.

“It’s okay. Nothing will happen. I’m here,” Bernie said in a soothing voice in the hopes of providing some comfort to an anxious Serena. She lifted Serena’s hands from the handle and held them in her own, squeezing once in reassurance. Serena finally let out a breath and tried to enjoy the beautiful scenery that lay before them. 

The whole city was beautifully illuminated and on the near slopes, she recognised the flickering windows of some cabins in the distance, loud Christmas music and the scent of mulled wine were rising up to them from below. It was quite relaxing, until the gondola stopped dead at the highest point to let people leave the wheel. Serena winced briefly and shut her eyes. 

Bernie laughed softly, swiping the back of Serena’s hand with her thumb. “Open your eyes and look at the lights and the stars. It’s so beautiful.“ 

Serena took a deep breath and eventually opened her eyes, her face beaming as she looks up to the sky through the clear ceiling. “Amazing.”

Bernie’s gaze wanders to her friend sat by her side. Serena was still smiling, but something Bernie hadn’t seen before was glinting in her eyes. 

_Here goes..._

“I think you’re amazing.” 

Serena turns her head quickly, catching Bernie’s eye before the ride suddenly stops and it is their turn to exit the wheel, the moment was lost. 

“Thank god. Solid ground under my feet”, Serena sighed, stamping the ground. 

-

Later on, they are sat side by side in a cosy little pub just off from the markets, fire roaring and the low hum of carols playing from the speakers around them. They had made small talk throughout the rest of the day, Bernie not daring to mention the words that came from her mouth whilst they were high up in the sky and Serena not daring to ask what the hell Bernie had meant by them. 

Bernie could see Serena beginning to shiver from beside her, two hours ago be damned, she thought, as she placed her cardigan around Serena’s shoulders. 

This movement caused Serena to shiver once more, this time more of a pleasant and welcoming feeling. 

They both turn and look into each other’s eyes once more, tucked away in the corner where no one could see them, Bernie felt brave. 

She tucked away the small pieces of hair straying from Serena’s head that were mussed up from the wind. She lets the back of her hand graze Serena’s cheek as she continues on the other side. One of them gave a hum of content at the action, neither knowing who did it, neither of them really caring.

Serena felt fuzzy inside and just wanted to savour this moment forever. She knows Bernie is holding back though, thinks she finally knows what was meant by Bernie’s words earlier on in the day.

Bernie finally speaks.

“Are you still cold?”

“A little. Although, it’s fun to be cold,” Bernie looks confused for a moment. Serena continues, with a smirk on her face, stealing a glance down at Bernie’s lips that doesn’t go unnoticed. “It’s fun to figure out ways to warm up.” 

Bernie takes the hint. “I can think of one or two.” 

Their lips meet for the first time, initiated by Serena and neither of them seem to want to stop, they can’t get enough.

In that moment, it feels to Bernie like all of her Christmases have come at once.


	23. fireplace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> penultimate chapter, i’m so sad it’s nearly over! it’s been fun!!
> 
> there isn’t much about the fire place in this but fuck it, it’s christmas and i’ll what i like ;)

Serena lives for moments like these. The only light in the room came from the colossal fireplace in the sitting room. Several now empty mugs of hot chocolate sat on the coffee table in front of the plush sofa that she and Bernie were sprawled across. Bernie was stretched out across the sofa with her back against the armrest with Serena laying between her legs, back to chest.  
  
Serena picked up one of Bernie’s hands from where it rested on her stomach and laced their fingers together. Bernie brought her other hand up to stroke through Serena’s hair causing Serena to hum in pleasure. She gave a gentle tug on Serena’s shoulders to pull her back for a kiss. The angle was awkward, but neither of them cared.  
  
“This is nice,” Bernie mumbled and Serena hummed in agreement. “We should do this more often.”  
  
“I agree. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so affectionate when Jason could walk in at any moment” 

Bernie craned her head to the side so that she could shoot a look at Serena. “Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m a very affectionate person,” Bernie protested, but there was no heat behind her words. “I’m just careful around Jason, I never want to make him uncomfortable.”  
  
“He doesn’t usually seem to mind, but that’s very sweet of you,” Serena leaned up again to nuzzle at Bernie’s jaw, earning another kiss from her. “Do you remember the time he caught us in the kitchen? Poor boy.”  
  
“God, don’t make me think about that right now!” Bernie complained. “I’ve just gotten all comfy and relaxed.” Serena chuckled and unlaced their fingers so that she could run her fingers up and down Bernie’s strong arms in long, smooth strokes.  
  
“Then I’ll just have to do something to distract you now, won’t I?” Serena said, sinking further into Bernie’s embrace.  
  
“Seems like you will,” Bernie smirked. Serena nodded with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and proceeded to kiss her way from Bernie’s ear down to her collarbone. Bernie groaned and tilted her head to the side to give Serena better access. Serena had other ideas, turning over so she was on her hands and knees, almost straddling Bernie. She let out a breathy laugh as Serena drifted a hand up under her shirt and over the muscles of her stomach. “God, I love you so much.”  
  
“I love you too, Bernie.”

Bernie’s hands moved up to cup Serena’s face as their mouths met. Serena ran her tongue along the seam of Bernie’s lips to which Bernie readily opened. She let out a moan and nipped at Serena’s bottom lip. When they eventually parted to breathe, Serena let out a chuckle and bumped her nose against Bernie’s, a little sign of affection they had grown to use.  
  
“You know,” her lips brushed against Bernie’s as she spoke. “Jason could come in at any moment again.”  
  
“Yeah, he could.” Bernie felt a smug smile appearing on Serena’s lips at this.  
  
“So the best course of action would be to relocate to our bedroom, wouldn’t you agree?” Serena fiddled with the ends of Bernie’s hair, eyes looking suggestive and full of promise.  
  
“You do have the best ideas, Serena love,” Bernie maneuveres them off the sofa without ever separating their hands, Jason gave them a look as they passed his open door, and their laughter could be heard all the way down the hall until the door to their room swung shut.


	24. christmas cracker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last of the advent prompts is finally here, hope you enjoy it!
> 
> i have something special going up a little later on tonight just as a thank you for being so lovely <3

“Serena?” Bernie asked as she knocked and leaned in the doorway of their office.

Serena was sat at her desk, brows furrowed and lips pursed as she stared at the gleaming silver locket in her hands. She looked up as Bernie called her name again and gave her a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yes, sorry. Anything wrong?” she said, running her thumb over the engraved silver. The necklace engraved with Elinor’s initials, this would be her third Christmas without her but she was managing. 

“Not really,” Bernie said, stepping into the office with a sly smirk. She had noticed Serena was getting a bit upset the past couple of days. Wanting to cheer her up, she held up a Christmas cracker, the green and gold wrapping glittering in the low light filtering through the blinds, and grinned. “I was just wondering if you’d like to help me with this?”

Serena chuckled and placed the locket on top of a pile of folders. “Seriously, Bernie? Such a big kid.”

Bernie raised an eyebrow and sauntered over to the desk. She sat on the edge of it, one foot brushing against Serena’s calf. She held one end of the cracker out and said quietly. “Go on.”

Serena smiled as she leaned forward, kissing Bernie as she took the proffered end and pulled.


	25. forever and ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a little extra something to say thank you SO much to the organiser of the berena advent - @berenaadvent - it’s been an absolute pleasure and really did keep me invested in this pair. i’m very grateful! you’ve done a great job!
> 
> and also a wee something to say thanks to ALL of you that left comments and kudos and to my wee cheerleaders on twitter too (you know who you are!) 
> 
> hope you enjoy it and have a beautiful christmas and if ya don’t celebrate, have a lovely day tomorrow regardless! <3

It was just gone 10pm at Serena’s house on Christmas day, they were both sitting on the sofa, cuddling under the blankets and watching the Christmas movies that were currently playing non-stop on the tv. With Jason, Cameron and Charlotte now fast asleep, the house was quiet, the sounds of the tv filling the living room while Serena and Bernie were both silent, enjoying the movies and cosy atmosphere, making them feel content. 

The snow was slowly falling down outside of the window, between the warmth of the blankets and the hot chocolate they were drinking, it was perfect. They had waited two years to experience this bliss, their relationship highs and lows, Elinor dying, the waiting, the uncertainty, the fighting, the cheating, the break-ups, the longing, all led them up to this moment right now. And many more moments yet to come. 

Serena was absentmindedly playing with Bernie’s left hand, not paying attention to the movie anymore, lost deep in thought. Her fingers kept stroking Bernie’s wedding ring, admiring how it flickered when the lights from the Christmas tree reflected on it, and couldn’t help the sudden rush of different emotions through her body. She squeezed Bernie’s hand and looked up at her, only to see her already gazing at her questioningly with a soft smile on her face.

“What’s on your mind?” Bernie asked, leaning her head back on the couch, her voice deep and warm, making Serena’s insides melt.

Serena rolled her eyes fondly with a small smile – she should have known that Bernie would notice that she was distracted. Focusing back on her wife’s hand, she bit her lip, wondering how to bring up what she was just thinking about.

“There was a moment when I thought that I would never have this, you know,” she finally said quietly.

“This?”

“Christmas. With you. Everything with you,” Serena elaborated. “After Elinor, then France and Nairobi, the separation, I really thought I’d messed it all up but somehow, you took me back. After everything that I put us through.” 

Serena continued after a short moment of silence, shaking her head, as if she still couldn’t believe it. “I don’t deserve you, Bernie.”

“Hey, hey,” Bernie wrapped her arm around Serena’s shoulders, pulling her closer, Serena burying her face in the crook of Bernie’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her wife.

“You’re not the only one to blame, Serena. We both made mistakes but what’s most important is that we learnt from them.” 

Lifting Serena’s chin to make her look up into her eyes, Bernie smiled. “And of course I took you back. It’s always been you, Serena,” she said, her hazel eyes shining with so much love that Serena couldn’t help but lean in to kiss her sweetly before laying her head onto Bernie’s shoulder.

“And you’ve always been it for me,” Serena smiled through the tears that had started falling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it and I’m sorry for taking you for granted. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.” 

“It’s all forgiven,” Bernie murmured against Serena’s hair, rubbing her arm comfortingly. “I love you, dear wife of mine. So much.” 

Serena could feel Bernie smile against her temple. 

“I love you, Bernie.” 

_Forever and ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh, and they lived happily ever after.
> 
> idk when/if i’ll write berena again, i really hope i find some inspiration from somewhere but i feel that particular flame has gone out now, which is sad. but you never know! it has been fun though <3


End file.
